The Magnolia Walker Ezine
Friday July 11, 2003
Vol 1 Issue 7
Publisher: Janet Bullard
magnoliawalker@aol.com
(c) 2003 All Rights Reserved
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This is an opt-in newsletter only! THIS IS NOT SPAM! If you wish
to know how you were subscribed, please email me at:
mailto:publisher at MWE@aol.com?subject=How-was-I-subscribed?
we keep files for each subscriber and will be
glad to send you the information. If you would like to be removed
from this newsletter the instructions are at the end of this
publication. My subscribers are very important to me and are not
made available to other companies or individuals. Every subscriber's
privacy is valued and respected.
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Hello,
Welcome to all the old and new subscribers. I hope everyone's
summer has been going well. We seem to be having rain
showers everyday. The gardens are loving all of this rain but,
the grass is coming in first.
I have added some more headings to round out the content.
If you have not sent me your ad, please do so.
Janet Bullard
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Quote of the Day:
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This is not exactly a "quote"; however, it has the power to make
you pause. I hope you enjoy the message it brings.
The Pastor
After a few of the usual sunday evening hymns, the church's
pastor slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit and, before
he gave his sermon for the evening, briefly introduced a guest
minister who was in the service that evening.
In the introduction, the pastor told the congregation that the
guest minister was one of his dearest childhood friends and
that he wanted him to have a few moments to greet the church
and share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service.
With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit and began to speak.
"A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific
Coast," he began, "when a fast approaching storm blocked any
attempt to get back to the shore. The waves were so high, that even
though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the
boat upright and the three were swept into the ocean as the
boat capsized."
The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two
teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began,
looking somewhat interested in his story. The aged minister continued
with his story, "grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most
excruciating decision of his life: to which boy he would throw the other
end of the life line. He only had seconds to make the decision.
The father knew that his son was a christian and he also knew that
his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision could not be
matched by the torrent of waves. "As the father yelled out, 'I love you,
son!' he threw out the life line to his son's friend. By the time the
father had pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had
disappeared beneath the raging swells into the black of night. His body
was never recovered."
By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the pew,
anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old
minister's mouth.
"The father," he continued, "knew his son would step into eternity with
Jesus and he could not bear the thought of his son's friend stepping
into an eternity without jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son to save
the son's friend. How great is the love of god that he should do the
same for us. Our heavenly father sacrificed his only begotten Son that
we could be saved. I urge you to take hold of the life line he is throwing
out to you in this service."
With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence
filled the room. The pastor again walked slowly to the pulpit and
delivered a brief sermon with an invitation at the end. However, no one
responded to the appeal.
Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the
old man's side. "That was a nice story," politely stated one of the boys,
"but I don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up his only
son's life in hopes that the other boy would become a christian."
"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied, glancing down at
his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, he once again
looked up at the boys and said, "it sure isn't very realistic, is it?
But I'm standing here today to tell you that story gives me a glimpse of
what it must have been like for God to give up his son for me. You see
I was that father and your pastor is my son's friend."
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In Today's Issue:
* Quote of the Day
* Top Sponsor Ads
* Business Opportunities
* Article:
* Resources
* Tech Tips
* Helping Hand at Home
* Guest Article:
* Gardening Tips
* Suggestions and Comments
* Contest
* Ad Code
* Kids Corner
* Ezine Ads
* Viral Marketing
* Recipies
* Parents Corner
* Pets Corner
* Subscribe/Unsubscribe Instructions and Legal Stuff
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TOP SPONSOR ADS
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None today
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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
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None today
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GUEST ARTICLE: Beating the Email Cops (and making some money!)
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Beating the Email Cops (and making some money!)
Copyright 2003 by Kevin Bidwell
http://www.All-In-One-Business.com
I've been doing a little research. Research that revealed
how you and I can do our business even better--and stay on
the right side of the Internet police.
Most of us use email to send people our newsletters, tell
them about products we think will benefit them and to keep
in touch. From our perspective, the emails we send are
beneficial, informative and profitable.
The recipients usually refer to it as S---- (I can't use the
actual word here or it might just trip one of those filter
things and you won't ever see this! Suffice to say it is
another word for unwanted email sent from a business. And
it starts with an "S", has a "M" at the end and "PA" in the
middle.)
In researching this I had two questions I wanted answers to:
1. How can I make sure my emails meet all of the legal
requirements for each state?
2. What is the most profitable method of utilizing my list?
I was amazed at the answers I found.
For instance, did you know that in some states you are
required to have certain letters in the subject line of your
email or you are violating the law? Or that attorneys who
use email have different requirements than others?
I took my legal research and reduced it to a group of
"rules" that, if followed, will keep you from violating the
laws of any individual state. While I don't claim to offer
you legal advice--hire an attorney for that--these should
keep you on the good side of the law (for now). You can get
your own copy of these rules here:
http://www.All-In-One-Business.com/emailrules
Now onto question two...
There are basically two sources of income from a newsletter
list: Selling ads and selling products. Some people do one,
some people do the other, some people do both.
Here are the results I found from polling several email
newsletter publishers about their income per subscriber:
HIGHEST INCOME: 5+ cents per subscriber per month.
SELLING PERSONALLY PRODUCED PRODUCTS COUPLED WITH A FEW
HIGHLY TARGETED AFFILIATE OFFERS
If you have your own products, this is the way to go. It is
the path I take as well as the path Corey Rudl, Jim Daniels,
Marlon Sanders and a host of others take.
This works well because it builds the credibility of the
owner which increases readership as well as responsiveness.
NEXT HIGHEST INCOME: 2-4 cents per subscriber per month.
SELLING A SMALL NUMBER OF HIGHLY TARGETED AFFILIATE PRODUCTS
FOR WHICH YOU RECEIVE A COMMISSION
Allan Gardyne is one of the best examples of this: He
recommends a different affiliate product every month or two
using a series of informative articles.
This works because the high-quality content of the ezine
gives Allan respect so his recommendations generate for him
high response rates.
SOME INCOME: .5 - 1 cent per subscriber per month.
SELLING ADVERTISING SPACE IN A LARGE EZINE
This is effective for ezines which are LARGE (25K or more)
and have high-quality content. Smaller ezines have trouble
making this work well, though they may have much more
responsive lists on a "per subscriber" basis.
LOWEST INCOME: Less than .5 cents per subscriber per month.
SELLING NUMEROUS AFFILIATE PRODUCTS
This is really no surprise. People stop reading emails from
people who bombard them with ads. Recommendations don't
mean much when the "recommended" changes their opinion of
the "latest greatest" thing each week.
If you take these results seriously, you can see there are a
number of ways to increase your income. The best course of
action is to:
(1) Provide a high-quality newsletter with original content.
(2) Limit recommendations to those products which are well
targeted to your subscriber base
The newsletters that follow this plan produce the greatest
return for the time, effort and resources invested.
=======================================================
Kevin Bidwell is owner of
http://all-in-one-business.com/cgi-bin/at.cgi?a=119256
and works with web business owners all over the world to
help them succeed in business. All-In-One Business receives
over 1 MILLION visits per year and his Success Secrets
course has helped hundreds of people achieve financial
independence in their own Internet business.
This article may be reprinted for use in newsletters and
websites provided that this information box is kept intact.
Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not
required: mailto:Kevin@All-In-One-Business.com?subject=119256
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RESOURCES
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All of these are fr--, if you are building your own page here is some help.
http://www.htmlgoodies.com
http://www.freesitetemplates.com
http://www.javascripts.com
http://www.swishzone.com
http://www.netmechanic.com
http://www.bignosebird.com
http://www.gotlogos.com
http://www.xav.com/scripts/axs/index.html
http://www.freedback.com
Free Search Engine Submission Pages
http://www.ah-ha.com/list/list_addurl.asp
http://www.alltheweb.com/add_url.php
http://www.altavista.com/sites/search/addurl
http://www.dogpile.com/t/help/addurl
http://www.google.com/addurl.html
http://hotbot.lycos.com/addurl.asp
http://listings.looksmart.com/info/msn_free_submit.jhtml
http://www.nationaldirectory.com/addurl/
http://www.northernlight.com/docs/regurl_help.html
http://dmoz.org/add.html
http://www.scrubtheweb.com/addurl.html
http://www.voila.fr/Informations/Moteur_guide/submit.html
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TECH TIPS
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HTML Tips
Cleaning the Hard drive.
Deleting files will make them disappear from
Windows Explorer. But they are probably still on the
hard drive, and a person using specialized software
could recover them.
Deleting files just breaks the connection between
the index portion of the hard drive and the file. The file
itself does not go anywhere. To be destroyed, it has to be
overwritten when a new file is saved.
Some people reformat the drive to delete everything.
Windows warns that this will make the files unrecoverable.
However, software is available on the Internet to recover
data after a reformat.
There is only one way to be certain that your data is
unrecoverable. You have to overwrite the hard drive with
specialized software. Files are destroyed when data is
written in their space on the hard drive.
Overwriting programs can be set to do the entire drive
or just the parts that aren't linked to the index. Norton
Utilities includes a utility--Wipe Info--which will overwrite
the disk. Norton Utilities costs $49.95. Norton System Works,
which costs $69.95, includes Norton Utilities.
There are also shareware programs available, such as
DriveScrubber, http://www.iolo.com ($29.95), and BCWipe,
http://www.jetico.com ($39.95).
Probably, no one would bother trying to recover your files.
But if someone did, they might steal your identity.
---------------------------
Thanks for your TIP today, Patsy!
Patsy can be reached at patsyy777@aol.com
E-MAIL Processors needed Immediately
go to http://www.freewebz.com/patsyy777
Save on Gas at the Pumps, go to
www.GasFerLess.GasUpUSA.com
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INTERNET TIP
Instant Messenger attacks once again!!!!! Have you been
attacked lately? Did you think your pop up blocker would
keep them out? Wrong! As long as you accept them they
will keep coming. Here are some ways to stop the madness
and here they are:
*******For all you Windows 2000 user:
Step 1: Click Start,
---- Settings,
---- Control Panel
---- Administrative Tools
---- open Services.
Step 2: In the list, scroll down until you find 'Messenger'.
Double-click Messenger and underneath Service Status,
click the 'Stop' button. Windows will then attempt to
stop the service.
Step 3: Click OK.
*******For all you Windows XP users:
Step 1: Click Start,
--- Control Panel
--- Performance
--- Administrative Tools
--- open Services
Step 3: Double-click Services and scroll down to 'Messenger'.
Step 4: Double-click 'Messenger' and underneath Service Status,
click the 'Stop' button. Windows will then attempt to
stop the service.
Step 5: Click OK.
*******Next:
1.Go to start --- run --- type in msconfig --- click OK
2. This should open up your System Configuration Utility
--- click on the Services tab
3. Scroll down till you find Messenger
- uncheck it
4. Click on the Startup tab-- scroll till you find msmsgs
- be sure it is unchecked
5. Reboot your computer - The System Config. Utility will
automatically run when you boot -- check the box
that says "Don't show this message or load the system
configuration utility when windows starts"
--- click OK
6. Now check your Administrative Tools - Services ---
and Messenger should be disabled
!!
If you want to find out more about Juvio Tech Service and a double
your money back guarantee send a blank email to :
mailto:ces-juvio@ebiznc.par32.com
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HELPING HAND AT HOME
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**** Does Your Wood Furniture Have Scratches?
There are many very inexpensive ways to disguise the wear and
tear on our furniture and textiles. For wood furniture, you can buy
crayons matching your wood grain. You just rub them into the wood
to disguise scratches. If you have spots in your carpet where the
color has faded, you can use a magic marker of similar color on the
fibers to hide the damage.
**** Your Own "Home-Made" Shower Cleaner
Here's an alternative to expensive daily shower cleaners.
In a 32 oz. spray bottle, pour in 8 oz.of rubbing alcohol
then 24 oz. of water. After each shower, spray the walls
and shower curtain. You won't have to rinse.
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GUEST ARTICLE: A Beginners Guide To Painting On Glass
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A Beginners Guide To Painting On Glass -
by Gail Miller
If you are anything like me, you will hate to throw anything
away. Plastic bottles have to be made into super vases, door
stops or musical instruments for the kids. Those scraps of
wrapping paper from last year just cannot be consigned to the
bin, they will always come in useful for decorating frames,
papier mache jewellery or hand made cards. Although this
eccentricity is frowned upon by spouse, family and friends alike,
in this day and age it is thought fashionable to transform
everyday rubbish into useful or decorative articles. As a
designer, my mind is always working out ways of turning ordinary
household garbage into utilitarian or elegant pieces. Some of
these ideas have ended up between the pages of magazines in
'How to' articles, many are in my home.
Here I concentrate on painting on 'glass' - by this I mean not
only glass as such; but plastic, mirrors and acetate. You don't
only have to paint on glass with glass paints either! Later I
tell you how you can paint on ordinary household tin cans, making
stunning metallic and jewel like objects.
Glass painting is really, really easy. However when I first
started painting on glass I was really overawed by what I would
need to start this most absorbing hobby. I was very nervous of
going into craft shops and showing my ignorance. Most of my
materials I bought by mail order until I knew what I was doing.
I now know of course that I shouldn't have been so coy. You
really don't need a lot of materials .... in fact it is a craft
that needs very few compared with other more complicated crafts.
Added to this is the wonderful effects you can get without having
to be Van Gogh! Glass painting has an immediacy and naivety to it
so it doesn't matter if your first attempts don't look like
artistic masterpieces.
Painting on glass (and other suitable materials) has become
extremely popular in recent years. Every craft fair these days
has a painted glass stall, and I remember a few years ago seeing
some exquisite perfume bottles at a craft market painted in the
most sumptuous colours and patterns. I now know of course that
these items are in fact easy to make. Although the results are
extremely beautiful, the technique is surprisingly easy to do,
even for the complete novice.
Basically, what you need are only four major items to paint on
glass;
1: Your base. This can be acetate film, mirror, plastic boxes and
containers, even ordinary glass jars and bottles which we throw
out of our households every week. In fact throwaways are the best
things to start with because you are not losing anything should
you not be very happy with your first results.
2: Brushes
3: Glass paint. Water or solvent based. Water based ones are the
easiest to work with as you don't need a medium to mix them with
or to clean brushes with. These paints come in sets or can be
purchased individually. They come in approximately 25 shades
including clear.
4: Relief outliner paint. Cerne relief, which comes in many
colours such as black, copper, gold, old gold, silver etc., is
the better known brand, although there are other makes.
Outliners come in tubes with a nozzle at the end through which
the paint is squeezed through onto your chosen surface. I often
also use fabric outliner paint for outlining too. These come in a
multitude of colours, including white and cream; not only the
metallic ones. They also come in glitter and pearl shades. If you
want to do things 'by the book', so to speak, then use glass
paining outliner.
To follow is a very basic instruction for painting on any glass
object. These instructions apply to any type of work, be it a
three dimensional object such as a bottle, or a flat surface such
as a mirror. As you will see however, there really is nothing to
it! Here are some projects which are very easy to follow to give
you some practice in your new craft.
Basic Glass painting
1; Clean your glass bottle or jar thoroughly. Using 'leading in a
tube' (Cerne relief) or fabric relief paint, draw the outline of
your pattern on the surface of the glass. Leave this outliner to
dry completely.
2; When your outliner is dry fill in each section with the glass
paint. You may need to practice on small pieces first, as glass
paint has a unique quality to it and takes a bit of getting used
to. Paint has to be flooded rather than painted onto the surface
of the glass. Leave to dry thoroughly as it goes tacky as it
dries therefore there is the risk of leaving fingerprints on the
surface of your painted objects.
Painting on glass is one of the easiest and most delightful ways
of transforming items which would usually be just tossed in the
bin, namely, empty jars, bottles and glass containers. I have
literally dozens of glass items around my house decorated with
all manner of patterns and effects. I also give decorated coffee
or sweet jars as presents. They cost next to nothing to make, but
always elicit the most enthusiastic response from the receiver.
Some ideas for painting on glass are;
Small jars, painted and given a 'handle' of fuse wire. Place a
night light in to make a gorgeous lantern.
Large coffee jars painted in pairs to make decorated matching tea
and coffee or sugar and flour containers.
French dressing bottles decorated and turned into olive oil
containers.
It is little known, but you can actually paint onto metallic
surfaces such as silver foil or tin cans with glass paint and
relief -
Trendy tin cans
1; After removing the labels from your cans, clean them with
soapy water. If there is any label glue left on the outside of
the tins clean it off with white spirit.
2; To decorate with glass paints, draw a pattern on the tin with
relief outliner and leave to dry. Paint in the design as you
would do on glass.
You can also make some super Christmas decorations made from
ordinary clear or frosted plastic juice or milk bottles -
1; Wash out the bottles. Cut into different shapes. Using
different colours of relief paint, for example gold, silver,
black or even bright colours, draw designs onto the plastic.
Leave to dry completely. Paint with glass paint (optional.)
2; Pierce a hole in the top of each decoration and thread string
through. Make a knot for hanging.
You can also make Christmas tree 'lanterns' from decorated empty
aromatherapy oil bottles -
1; Take any labels off the bottles and wash in hot soapy water,
inside and out. Wrap some fuse wire round the neck of the bottles
and make into loops for hanging. Replace the lids.
2; Using the glass paints, make squiggles, dots or lines on the
surface of the bottles. Alternatively use a tiny sponge and dab
the colours on, merging together where they meet. Leave to dry.
3; Using PVA glue, stick sequins on the bottles if desired.
As you will see, this craft is excellent for the less confident
crafter, as the techniques are simplicity itself. I hope you
enjoy making some delightful objects with the aid of this guide
to basic glass painting.
---
About The Author:
Gail Miller is a writer and artist. Her websites include;
Gails Gallery; http://home.freeuk.net/gails-gallery,
Stage Your Home To Sell; http://homestager.web1000.com
and Cash For Crafts; http://home.freeuk.net/cashforcrafts
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GARDENING: Worming your way
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Worming your way
by Cheryl Rice
Sometimes it pays to take a look at alternative gardening
methods of third-world countries. The use of drip irrigation is
an example of an idea that wasn't invented here.
Countries like India and Cuba can't afford to import expensive
petrochemical-based fertilizers. Their solution is to look to
worms. They have extensive governmental vermiculture (worm use)
projects underway. And why not? Worms are a very economical way
to convert waste into a usable product. In one recent
experiment in India, a group of 1,000 farmers are now using
vermicompost in their orchards and have reduced the use of the
use of chemical fertilizers by an astounding 90%.
We all know the value of worms in our gardens and most of us
are pretty happy to find them when we are digging in our beds.
Worms promote bacterial growth (good), aerate compacted soil
and help organic material decompose. Further, since they are 60%
protein, when they die, they add still more to the soil.
Just so you know, there are over 3,000 kinds of worms. For our
purposes, though, there are really only two types of interest
to us. Conveniently, they have divided their worlds into two
environments. Eisenia foetida may be more familiar to you as
red worms, red wigglers, manure rooms, fish worms, dung
brandings or even apple pomice worms. These are the "humus
farmers." they live near or on the surface in highly organic
places like manure piles. Their diet consists of 90% fresh
organic matter and 10% soil.
The second group, the kind you are most likely to encounter in
your garden, are "humus feeders." These are deep- burrowing (as
much as three feet vertically) creatures whose digging habits
make our soils more porous. They leave humus behind them as and
when they go.
Humus feeders or Lumbricus terrestis (night crawlers) need
large areas in which to live. In contrast to the red wigglers,
who are quite happy living on top of each other, night crawlers
don't encounter their own kind all that frequently.
Here's some trivia for your next party. When I was a kid, I was
told when worms surface after a rain it was to avoid drowning.
Not true! Moisture is essential to their survival. What they
really are doing, is looking for a sex partner and a convenient
flat place to mate. The wet surface is a big draw since they
need moisture for mobility and that's where they can find
similarly inclined worms. One writer described it as "nature's
singles bar."
But, I digress. Next week, I'll tell you why these worms are
important to home gardeners and how you, too, can harness their
power for your own use.
That's all for now. Good luck and great gardening.
-----
Cheryl is a Master Gardener who volunteers with the Lake County
(Ohio) Extension office of Ohio State University. She won a
Cleveland Press Club award last year for her feature and column
writing.
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SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
None today.
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CONTEST INFORMATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AD CODE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This weeks AD CODE: summertime
mailto:magnoliawalker@aol.com
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KIDS CORNER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A great site for children's issues:
http://www.geocities.com/speakupforkids/
kids corner
http://www.eia.doe.gov/kids/kidscorner.html
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EZINE ADS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The number one thing you must do to succeed on the Internet
"Build your own List" Here's how and why
Building Your List: an Interactive Tutorial
You've heard how important it is to build a list for your online
business activities. But how? What should you focus on?
It's a subject that can get pretty in-depth, but most of the people
who try to teach you about it forget the basics. Like WHY you should
build a list, and what you should focus on. To help you with this,
we offer a simple (and very brief) tutorial that will show you the
most important things to consider and how to get off to the right
start, based on your personal situation.
http://www.advertisingknowhow.com
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Get a Free Website Review, Free Ebooks, Free Webmaster
Resources, Resourceful Articles, Tips N Tricks, Proven Biz-
Opps, A Members Area Packed Full & Much More!
Click: http://ecommerce-resources.org/e-zine.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FREE ADS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NONE?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VIRAL MARKETING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't know where to start? Well, start here.
http://www.fastfreeway.com/index.php3?ref=75136
Build your mailing list here!
http://www.freemailer2000.com/index.cfm?id=toworksmart
Promote your site for free!
http://www.mylinksite.com/hometostay
Need your ads to stay?
http://www.classifiedadcentral.com/magnoliawalker
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RECIPES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quick Skillet Sausage and Rice
Ingredients:
1 pound bulk pork sausage
1 medium onion, chopped
3 cups cooked rice
1 (15-ounce) can pinto beans
1 to 3 tablespoons chopped jalapenos
Directions:
Cook sausage in 10-inch skillet over medium
high heat until brown, stirring to crumble.
Spoon off fat, reserving 2 tablespoons.
Add onion and cook until soft but not brown.
Stir in rice, beans and jalapenos; heat thoroughly.
Makes: 6 servings.
http://ricecafe.com/recipe45.htm
Do Not Over Do IT!!!!!!!!!
BAHAMA MAMA!
1 1/2 oz. Light Rum
1 1/2 oz. Gold Rum
1 1/2 oz. Dark Rum
2 oz. Sour Mix
2 oz. Pineapple Juice
2 1/2 oz. Orange Juice
Dash Grenadine
Put a dash of grenadine in the bottom of a Collins glass or a hurricane
glass. Fill a mixing glass with ice. Pour in light rum, gold rum, dark
rum, sour mix, pineapple juice and orange juice. Shake. Pour into the
Collins or hurricane glass. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice.
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PARENT'S CORNER: The Challenges Of Single Parenting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Challenges Of Single Parenting
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written
books on parenting and relationships, I've discovered that
one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be
loving role-models for our children, showing our children
through our behavior how to take personal responsibility
for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to
learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves
within and how to create a sense of safety in the world.
In families where both a mother and father are present,
both parents can participate in nurturing the child
emotionally and taking care of the child in the world,
and both parents can role-model what it looks like to do
this for themselves.
Single parents have a far greater challenge - they have to be
both mother and father to the child. Mothering energy is that
energy that nurtures while fathering energy is that energy that
protects in the world - that is, earning money, setting
boundaries with others, speaking up for oneself. While our
society often defines women as the nurturers and men as the
protectors, both men and women are capable of both nurturing
and protecting in the world.
In order for a single parent to successfully be both mother
and father, he or she must have learned how to be both mother
and father to the Child within. In other words, we have to
have learned how to nurture our own Inner Child - how to take
responsibility for our own fears, pain, anger, hurt, and
disappointment, and how to take care of our Inner Child in the
world - earn money, set boundaries, and so on. There is no way
to successfully teach our children these skills until we are
doing them ourselves, which means that each of us needs to be
in a process of learning how to do this.
We have developed a process that teaches us how to care for
and nurture ourselves, while also loving others. This process,
called Inner Bonding, teaches us how to become a loving Adult
to our own Inner Child and to our actual children. Inner
Bonding is a six-step psychospiritual process that can be
learned and practiced daily, and that leads to the development
of a spiritually-connected loving inner Adult.
Inner Bonding defines the Inner Child as our core self, who
we are when we are born - our natural creativity, intuition,
playfulness, imagination, talents, feelings, and ability to
love. Our Child is our inner experience. Our Adult is
everything we learn after we are born. It is our thoughts,
beliefs, and ability to take action. We start learning how to
be an Adult from the moment we are born through watching our
parents and other caregivers. The Adult we learn to be is a
child-adult, the part of us that learned many fears and false beliefs
and learned addictive ways, such as using substances,
TV, spending, anger, or compliance to avoid pain. A true
loving Adult is that part of us that is spiritually connected
to a Higher Source of truth and love and is able to bring that
truth and love down into the Child and share it with others.
The adult many of us operate from most of the time is really a
wounded child masquerading as an adult. It is our unhealed
wounded self that causes us problems with ourselves and our children.
Inner Bonding is a process for healing the wounded
self and developing a spiritually-connected loving Adult.
In Inner Bonding, there are only two possible intents at any
given moment: the intent to learn about love and the intent
to protect against and avoid pain. The intent to learn says
that we want to learn about our own pain in order to understand
what we need to do to be loving to our Inner Child and others;
The intent to protect says that we want to avoid experiencing
our pain at all cost. The child-adult is always in the intent
to protect and the loving Adult is always in the intent to
learn.
The six-steps of Inner Bonding are:
The willingness to become aware of our pain rather than protect
against it with our various addictions.
The conscious decision to move into the intent to learn.
Dialoguing with our wounded self to discover the false beliefs
and resulting behavior behind the pain. Releasing anger and
pain in appropriate ways.
Dialoguing with our Higher Power to learn about truth and
loving behavior.
Taking loving action in behalf or our Inner Child.
Evaluating the action.
All parents needs to be in a process of healing themselves.
It is particularly important for single parents to be in
this process since they are the primary role-models for
their children. The more you heal the fears and false beliefs
of your wounded self, the more loving you will naturally be
with yourself and your children. Learning to utilize these
six step throughout the day, especially in times of anger,
fear, anxiety and stress, will eventually heal the false
beliefs leading to these difficult feelings.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author
of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved
By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?",
"Healing Your Aloneness", "Inner Bonding",and "Do I Have To
Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE
Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PET CORNER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind Games Dogs Play With Their Humans
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*
1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL
DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry
yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if
it's right before your humans bedtime.
2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come
home,put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and
act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch
as the humans frantically search the house for the damage
they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when
you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it
perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to
someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have
no idea what they're talking about.
4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go
'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait.
Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately
decide the fate of the earth.
5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always
pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your
time and make sure everyone watches. This works
particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and
coughing every time a strange human walks by.
7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick
when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase
it once in a while.
8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home,
don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make
them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't
reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and
close to tears).
9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take
your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set
to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning
pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans
can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will
drive them nuts!)
!*!* mailto:Clean-Cut-Jokes-subscribe@topica.com
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I hope you have enjoyed this newsletter as much as I have in creating it.
Until Tuesday, have a safe and pleasent weekend.
See you soon,
Janet Bullard
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The Magnolia Walker Ezine
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